WHY WORK when you can fool your creditors?
I’ve been writing financial articles for a year & a half now with modest traffic; if I’m ever going to break through that digital glass ceiling, I know I’ll have to share some insider secrets.
Do you think I make a living off these articles? Not a chance.
So how do I do it? I trick my credit cards into paying all my expenses.
Want to know how?
Step 1: save those annoying credit card offers you’re always getting in the mail. I know your first instinct is to discard them as rubbish, but I want you to apply for all of them instead. Keep applying until you’ve opened fifteen to twenty lines of credit with anywhere between $1,000 & $8,000 on each.
Step 2: start spending! Sure, you should use the cards to pay for all the necessities: rent, utilities, groceries, &c. But go on a splurge, too; you deserve it! $800 trenchcoats? Yes! A new PlayStation 3? Shyeah, boy!
A full-scale replica of the DeLorean time machine? Ka-CHING!!
Have fun, but quit once you’ve spent half your available credit. Then sit back, enjoy your guilt-free purchases & wait for the bills to arrive on your doorstep.
At this point, you’re probably wondering “How am I going to pay for all this? I don’t have $80,000!” Here’s my answer: you DO have $80,000 – on your other credit cards!
Step 3: pay down credit card group “A” using the credit cards from group “B”! With group “A” paid to zero, you’ve instantly got another $80,000 on your hands! Schweet!!
This leads you to step 4: spend more money!! A hot tub for your backyard that doubles as a bar? Sure! Why not attach an underground pool to that puppy? Add a roof swing for extra sweet swan dives!!
I can tell you’re definitely wondering how you’re going to pay for all this. The first time was easy, but how do you pay for group A now that group B is maxed out? The answer is simple: keep applying for those annoying credit card offers!
Soon enough, you’ll build up a group “C” that can accommodate the growing debt burden of group A. Then you’re free to keep spending!
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OF COURSE, this is the worst advice anyone can give another person. Don’t do this, ever!
I actually planned this article to appear as an April Fool’s Day joke, but I ended up spending most of April 1st mending ties with my sister-in-law, my relationship with whom was nearly destroyed after one of my famous psychological pranks.
Long story short, get a budget. Figure out how much you make each month & don’t spend above that amount. I’ll give you points if you manage to save 10% of that money for a rainy day. And please, use credit cards sparingly. If at all possible, use them only when you have enough money in the bank to pay your bill in full.
If you need someone to talk to about debt, budgets, or anything financial, don’t hesitate to contact us.
Live well, live well within your means, and remember – that’s how the Solvency Shark seas it!
YOUR COMMENTS ARE MORE PRECIOUS TO ME THAN A BALANCED BUDGET. PLEASE LEAVE THEM BELOW.
He served as a Senator for the Graduate and Professional Student Federation, fighting to keep tuition costs down for graduate students struggling with their finances and student loans. He also developed his budgeting skills during his time as a Treasurer for the Graduate Romance Association. He enjoyed becoming more active in his local community and working to make a positive effect on his surroundings.
While an undergraduate himself, he spent a year abroad in Europe earning his degree in Spanish and French. While studying in both Sevilla, Spain, and Montpellier, France, he was exposed to the everyday reality of living under different economic and financial systems. Among other interesting travels he has made is a financial pilgrimage to the Spanish stock market in Madrid.
Stewart Pelto brings his rigorous academic education and his international experience to the problem of raising credit awareness and promoting financial responsibility. He hopes that his articles will teach his readers about debt and credit in an easily accessible and readily understandable way.
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