When I was a kid we used to tell each other a comedy-horror story about a man pursued by a monkey.
The mysterious monkey followed the man everywhere he went, day after day. One day, the man got spooked, packed up his bags and left. He went to another town, but the monkey tailed him. He flew across the Atlantic, but the monkey clung to the airplane wings. The monkey dogged him all the way to the middle of the Sahara desert until, exhausted, the man simply gave up and resigned himself to a horrible death at the monkey’s hands. But when the monkey caught up to him, he simply tapped the man on the shoulder and said, “You’re it!”
It’s a random kid’s story intended to get a laugh, but I can’t help but think about it whenever I hear about Social Security. With the imminent mass retirement of baby boomers, our federal program threatens to become a nasty, persistent problem that’s inescapable – just like the monkey.
The Economist.com’s Democracy in America blog has a great opinion on this from September of last year; I encourage everyone to read it for its perspective and detail. The summary: baby boomers had a chance in the 1980s to fix the problem but blew it instead.
The monkey finally caught up to them, tapped them on the shoulder and said: “You’re it!” Now they’ve become the monkey and Generation X is in their sights.
Guess what? As we young twenty-somethings from Generation Y grow up, Generation X will most likely blow their chance to solve the Social Security problem, turn into the monkey and haunt us until we agree to assume the heavy mantle ourselves.
You know what I think about that? Screw that.
I’m not going to lose that silly game because I refuse to play it. Right-wing politicians dress up like colonialists – to whom they have nothing in common – and throw tantrums about disintegrating federal programs. Left-wing politicians shield the candles of federal program sanctity and hiss at anyone who tries to snuff them out.
Meanwhile, a bi-partisan deficit commission that publishes a long list of logical solutions gets its arms ripped off from either side. As a young man in the District, sometimes it feels like the baby boomers still need someone to change their diapers.
So you know what? Take your Social Security monkey and stuff it. I’ll pack up my bags and leave this place, but it’s not because I’m running. I’m going to see the world before I die and I’ll be damned if I let the sacrifice and delayed gratification of a solvent Social Security system stop me.
I’m going to Europe. I’m going to Central America. I’m going to Asia. With any luck, I’m going to outer space on a commercial tourist flight.
Generation Y, listen up: you will die a discarded piece of rubbish broken by regret if you don’t start living your life now. You will not retire at 65 with enough money to live comfortably; not only will the retirement age be raised by five to ten years, but you will also be able to leverage advancing Western medicine well into your 90s and 100s.
Put aside enough money to cover your ass for two months if you lose your job, then split all your extra cash into 33% debt payments and 67% travel funds. Scrimp, save and be thrifty all year, then take two weeks to hike up Macchu Picchu in Peru. To sit in the steaming hot springs of a snowy Japanese mountain. To watch the Dutch tulips blossom in April. To live your life right now and actually be able to tell some interesting stories when you’re old.
And when that terrible monkey finally catches up to you, taps you on the shoulder and says, “You’re it!”, I want you to look him straight in the eye, take a deep breath and say, “I know you are, but what am I?”
Live well, live well within your means, and remember – that’s how the Solvency Shark seas it!
YOUR COMMENTS ARE MORE PRECIOUS TO ME THAN A BALANCED BUDGET. PLEASE LEAVE THEM BELOW.
He served as a Senator for the Graduate and Professional Student Federation, fighting to keep tuition costs down for graduate students struggling with their finances and student loans. He also developed his budgeting skills during his time as a Treasurer for the Graduate Romance Association. He enjoyed becoming more active in his local community and working to make a positive effect on his surroundings.
While an undergraduate himself, he spent a year abroad in Europe earning his degree in Spanish and French. While studying in both Sevilla, Spain, and Montpellier, France, he was exposed to the everyday reality of living under different economic and financial systems. Among other interesting travels he has made is a financial pilgrimage to the Spanish stock market in Madrid.
Stewart Pelto brings his rigorous academic education and his international experience to the problem of raising credit awareness and promoting financial responsibility. He hopes that his articles will teach his readers about debt and credit in an easily accessible and readily understandable way.
- Upstanding Deadbeats Disliked by Credit Card Companies - October 24, 2014
- PLAY YOUR (CREDIT) CARDS CLOSE TO YOUR CHEST - October 1, 2014
- Perkins Loans: A Great Way to Get an Education - August 7, 2014